6 min read
Typically, a wedding event lineup goes something like this: engagement party, then a bridal shower, and, finally, the big day. We’ve already answered all your questions about wedding gift etiquette, so it begs the question: what is proper bridal shower gift etiquette? The good news is that you aren’t expected to give a gift at an engagement party (though if you feel inclined, something small and sentimental for the happy couple is fine). But when it comes to bridal shower etiquette, there are a few guidelines you should know before you click RSVP. Here, we answer all your questions, from what’s the right amount to spend, all the way to how to wrap your gift before you head off to the party.
rule #1: how much to spend on a bridal shower gift
HOW MUCH SHOULD I SPEND ON A BRIDAL SHOWER GIFT?
The big question: How much should you spend? A bridal shower always happens after an engagement party, and there are some clear distinctions between how much to spend for a bridal shower as opposed to an engagement party, which typically doesn’t require a gift. As a rule, how much you spend on a bridal shower gift depends on your relationship with the couple.
$50–$75
Most experts agree that $50 to $75 is an acceptable amount to spend on a bridal shower gift.
$100+
Close friends and family members usually spend more than $100 on a bridal shower gift.
Whatever is within budget
Considering how many events can happen before a wedding, remember that what you spend on a bridal shower gift is up to you and your budget.
rule #2: appropriate gifts for a bridal shower party
WHAT IS AN APPROPRIATE GIFT FOR A BRIDAL SHOWER PARTY?
First things first: Make sure to reference the couple’s wedding registry for the list of things they need (and truly want to receive).
If you’d like to go off-registry, a personalized wedding shower gift, such as monogrammed towels or serveware, can be a thoughtful gesture.
Another case when it’s ok to go off a couple’s registry: giving a wedding shower gift that fits the party’s theme. (For example, a wine decanter at a wine tasting wedding shower.)
Rule #3: a good bridal shower gift
WHAT IS A GOOD BRIDAL SHOWER GIFT?
Anything on a couple’s registry is fair game, but a good bridal shower gift can also include something that speaks to the couple’s interests and style. Are they always hosting dinner parties? Maybe new table linens or glasses are in order. Or are they more about hibernating with a Netflix marathon? Cozy monogrammed robes might be the just-right present. Here’s a list of the most commonly-purchased and most well-received bridal shower gifts.
Wine glasses
The hosts with the most can never have enough vessels for vino.
Champagne flutes
Help them make every day a celebration with champagne flutes for sipping bubbly.
Decanters
They don’t have to live in wine country to appreciate a bottle decanter.
Robes
A set of plush bathrobes is the most cozy way to settle into married life.
Picture frames
Give them a stylish place to show off all those framed photos from your wedding.
Small kitchen appliances
Couples always appreciate new kitchen appliances, from toasters to food processors, especially when it’s their first time hosting a holiday like Thanksgiving.
Food storage containers
Married life is the perfect time to start fresh with all-matching food storage.
Tea kettles
A tea pot is where form and function collide beautifully.
Rule #4: when to give a bridal shower gift
WHEN SHOULD YOU GIVE A BRIDAL SHOWER GIFT?
The best time to give a bridal shower gift is at the actual shower. Unlike the wedding itself, it’s common to bring a gift along with you to the party.
If you sent your gift before or after the bridal shower and can’t physically bring a gift, bring a card to the shower instead.
Rule #5: a good bridal shower cash gift amount
WHAT IS A GOOD BRIDAL SHOWER CASH GIFT AMOUNT?
Traditionally, cash is more common as a wedding gift than at a shower, where the bride might be opening up presents in front of guests. That said, a wedding cash gift isn’t the only way to go, and giving cash at a bridal shower is acceptable.
$50-$75
Anywhere between $50 to $75 is an appropriate amount to give as a bridal shower gift.
Rule #6: giving a bridal shower group gift
HOW TO GIVE A BRIDAL SHOWER GROUP GIFT.
It’s common for members of the bridal party to go off-registry and contribute to a group bridal shower gift that’s meaningful to the couple.
Similarly, guests can collaborate and go in on group gifts that might be off-registry.
For group gifts that are on the registry, you can donate to a group gift fund. Here’s how it works at Crate & Barrel: On the couples’ registry, look for a green icon that says “Group Gift Fund Item” next to a larger item such as a piece of furniture. Instead of paying for the entire gift, simply enter the dollar amount you’d like to give, which then arrives to the couple in the form of a gift card for them to spend.
Rule #7: buying a bridal shower gift when not attending the shower
WHAT BRIDAL SHOWER GIFT TO BUY WHEN NOT ATTENDING THE SHOWER?
Whether or not you should buy a bridal shower gift when you’re not attending the shower depends on your relationship to the happy couple.
If you’re not attending a bridal shower and are also not very close to the couple, you’re not required to purchase a gift, though it’s always a nice gesture.
If you’re a close friend or family member and you can’t attend, send a gift just as you would as if you were attending the party.
Rule #8: bridal shower gifts vs. wedding gifts
WHAT GIFT TO BUY FOR THE BRIDAL SHOWER VS. THE WEDDING?
There are few important distinctions between bridal shower gifts and wedding gifts:
A wedding gift is typically more expensive than a bridal shower gift, and you should stick to the couple’s registry as much as possible.
A wedding shower gift is generally smaller and less expensive. While it’s always nice to reference a couple’s registry, it’s perfectly fine to go off-registry for a bridal shower.
Rule #9: wrapping a bridal shower gift
HOW TO WRAP A BRIDAL SHOWER GIFT.
Wrapping a bridal shower gift might seem like a no-brainer, but you might find that an invitation includes specific instructions—and you should follow them as best you can. For example, unwrapping gifts might be part of a bridal shower game, so a simple, easy-to-unwrap style is best – leave the packing tape or fussy bows at home. On the other hand, they might not be opening gifts day-of, and in that case, a couple may ask that gifts not be wrapped at all. Here’s how to decode an invitation and how to wrap a bridal shower gift.
Make sure to follow the instructions on the shower invite, which will most likely include one of the following suggestions:
Wrapped Wrap your gift in opaque paper or in a bag so that the contents are fully concealed—opening presents will likely be a big part of the event.
Unwrapped This typically means a couple doesn’t want to bother with unwrapping, which means you don’t need to wrap your gift at all. If you just can’t help yourself, adding a ribbon or bow is a nice touch.
Wrap in clear Cellophane wrapping means a couple will be able to easily see what’s inside, but will also get the joy of opening a present.
Rule #10: gifts cards for bridal showers
CAN GIFT CARDS BE GIVEN FOR BRIDAL SHOWERS?
Yes, you can give a gift card at a bridal shower, and it should be for the same amount that you would give in cash.
You can also purchase a gift card to the store where a couple is registered. Simply select the gift card option from their registry page.
If you know a couple particularly enjoys a store or restaurant, it’s perfectly acceptable to give them a gift card from that place.
Rule #11: bridal shower hostess gift
DOES THE BRIDAL SHOWER HOSTESS GET A GIFT?
Only certain attendees need to give a hostess gift:
A bride and groom should always thank the host or hostess of their shower with a gift.
Bridal shower guests are not required to give the hostess a gift.
Popular hosting gift ideas include a bottle of wine, a gift card to their favorite restaurant or spa, or a box of fancy chocolates.
Rule #12: bridal shower etiquette for guests
WHAT IS THE GUEST ETIQUETTE FOR A BRIDAL SHOWER?
Keep the following bridal shower etiquette in mind when you’re the one attending a bridal shower:
It’s important to RSVP promptly, so the host (and the bride!) knows how many people to expect and can plan ahead with regards to food and seating.
Stick to the gift budget as much as possible, especially because the bride might be opening up gifts at the event.
Remember: A bridal shower is not a bachelorette party. Save the racy games and lingerie gifts for another time.
Rule #13: bridal shower invitation etiquette
WHAT IS BRIDAL SHOWER INVITATION ETIQUETTE?
There are a few important guides for brides to follow when putting together an invite list for their bridal shower:
Only wedding guests should get an invitation to the bridal shower.
Whomever is hosting the shower (not the bride and groom) will be the one sending the invitations to guests.
Make sure to include all the important details: date, time, location, event type, the host or hostess’ name, and their contact information
Send invitations to guests 4 to 6 weeks before the shower.
Rule #14: engagement party gifts
DO YOU BRING A GIFT FOR AN ENGAGEMENT PARTY?
Engagement parties are one of the few wedding-related events where it’s ok to show up empty-handed. Remember that there will be other parties down the line, like the bridal shower, where gifts are expected.
Even though you’re not supposed to bring a gift to an engagement party, if you are especially close to the couple, you may bring something small, like a card or bouquet of flowers.
Rule #15: amount for engagement party gift
HOW MUCH TO SPEND ON AN ENGAGEMENT PARTY GIFT.
Even though you’re not expected to buy an engagement party gift, if you do decide to give one, it should be the least expensive gift you purchase throughout a couple’s engagement, especially when compared to a bridal shower gift or a wedding gift. Try to stick within these ranges, depending on your closeness with a couple.
$30 to $50
You should generally spend between $30 to $50 on an engagement gift, if you decide to give one.
$50 to $75
However, if you are a close friend or family member, you may want to spend a little bit more on a couple’s engagement party gift.
Rule #16: gifts for the engagement party host or hosts
SHOULD YOU BUY GIFTS FOR THE ENGAGEMENT PARTY HOST OR HOSTS
As a guest, it’s not necessary to buy a gift for an engagement party host.
If you don’t want to show up empty-handed, bring what you would give a dinner party host: a bottle of wine, a candle, or a dessert.
SHOP BRIDAL GIFTS
